


Broken

by Amerild



Category: markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Drug Use, Past Sexual Abuse, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Trust Issues, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 04:25:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3922819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amerild/pseuds/Amerild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if our hero is as fragile as we are? What if someone or something broke him even further? Who will piece him back together? Trigger warning for self-harm and mentions of sexual abuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I was in a seedy bar, feeling like a babysitter for my best friend, since I didn't drink anymore. I checked out the moving crowd, dancing the night away with the bad pop music. Last call was fast approaching. I see my best friend dancing with a muscly douche and I shake my head. This one's gonna be another notch on her bedpost, and I'm gonna go home alone tonight. Ah well, I know I'm only here as a safety precaution and to have fun times with my friend. Good for her if she's found a temporary bedwarmer. It's been a while since anybody warmed my bed. At least, I don't have to put up with anyone's shit. I go to see my friend, to confirm that she's okay.

"Hey Steph, just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, no problem, Chad here is going to bring me back to his place. Thanks for the check."

I eye the drunk dude. "As long as neither of you are driving, I'm ok with that."

She rolls her eyes and says "Yes, Mom Anna." I give her a hug and say my goodbyes, having had enough of the bass in my ear for one evening. As I go to my car, I hear a man moaning in pain right by my car door. I sight as I survey the situation. He looks a bit brawny but not in any state to be dangerous, except maybe to himself. There's an empty bottle of Fireball tipped to one side. Ugh, poor dude, you're gonna feel that in the morning. I try to shake him awake and all I got are moans and a choked sob. I light up my cellphone flashlight to illuminate the guy. He's on his side with a small puddle of vomit near his mouth.

As I take in his features, I stay stunned. Rectangular glasses askew, raven hair in disarray, heavy stubble, it can't be... Mark? What the fuck is he doing there, half-passed out from booze? Everyone's been searching for him. I know I can't leave him there, defenseless, in this part of town. I take his arm across my shoulders to lift him up. Damn, he's heavy! I open the back door behind the driver's seat and sit him there. I buckle him to the seat. I open my trunk and take the bucket. It's usually Steph's when she's had a bit too much to drink. I place it between his legs and I pray that he doesn't need it or that he'll wake up enough to be able to aim for it. I take the driving wheel and go back to my place as smoothly as possible. I don't want to jar him too much. When I arrive at my apartment, I thank my stars that I'm only on the first floor because he's heavy as fuck.

I unlock my door and I let him go on the couch, placing him on his side, to avoid him choking on his own vomit, if he did. I go in the bathroom, wetting a washcloth with icy water, taking another dry one and another bucket with about an inch of water in it. I place the bucket on the floor beside him, put the dry washcloth just in front of his mouth and I put the icy one on his forehead. He moans contentedly as I take off his glasses.

"Feels good, huh? Poor dude."

I go in the kitchen and pour him a glass of water and two Advils and put them right beside his glasses, just in front of his eyes. I also tuck him in with a light blanket.

"Good night, Mark."

I lock the door behind me, take off my boots and I crash on my bed, falling into a deep dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning

I wake up at noon-ish, a bit disoriented. I get up and grimace at my disheveled state. I divest myself of my crumpled clothes. I get out of my bedroom, take a clean towel from the closet and go on to the bathroom to take a shower. Sighing contentedly as the warm water loosens my aching muscles, my mind wanders. My eyes open suddenly as I remember why my muscles are achy. Oops, I hope he was still asleep or unconscious or else, he saw everything. My cheeks are burning at the thought. Dammit Mark, after all these years, you still make me blush like a schoolgirl! He’s always been very easy on the eyes, still is actually, judging by yesterday. My right hand goes to caress the red, pixelated ‘M’ on the inside of my left wrist, covering a few paler lines.

It had been a while since his last video, almost two months ago. I had been very worried for him. Something was off in his last let’s play. Bob and Wade, I could see that they had lost their sacred spark. They soldiered on in their videos but I could see that they were sad and worried. Even his brother updated less often on his webcomic. I had often wondered what had happened to him. Did he commit suicide somewhere far away and they hadn’t found the body yet? Was he kidnapped by a rabid fan? The answer to that question was lying passed out on my couch.

I finished showering and drying myself, then draping myself in my towel. I go back to my bedroom and note that he’s still sleeping, though a bit fitfully. I enter my bedroom and close the door gently behind me. I dress in black ripped jeans, a studded black leather belt, a Sonata Arctica t-shirt over a red long-sleeved shirt. I pull my long, dark red hair in a ponytail, brushing it off my shoulder. I put on my black ear band with a black rose stud that goes in my lobe hole. I also put on my black velvet choker with a dark red rose pendant. I put on my black leather bracelet on my right wrist. I apply my usual dark red lipstick on my plump lips and black eyeliner. I smile at myself in the mirror. I love dressing like that, it’s one of my daily pleasures. Also, I love the fact that, even at my job, I can dress like that. Even my various tattoos and piercings don’t get a second glance. The only things my boss asks of his employees was to be sober, clean and decent in the workplace. Oh and no relationships with other call center employees or with the taxi drivers. That was it. Of course, the pay was so-so but I made do. I had a roof on my head, food in my belly and a few savings in my account, that was more than enough. 

Talking of food, my stomach growls loudly. I go out of my bedroom to the kitchen. On my way, I check on Mark. He looked peaceful though the last two months had taken a toll on him. He was paler than usual, his cheeks a bit more gaunt, his stubble almost a beard and dark circles around his sunken eyes. The Advils and the glass of water had been consumed, making me smile.

I brew a small pot of coffee. I then open my fridge, take out eggs and bacon. I put bread in the toaster. I use a big pan to be able to cook the eggs and bacon at the same time in the same pan. Less dishes that way, I’m a bit lazy sometimes. I separate the bacon and the eggs in two separate plates, butter up the toasts. I smile as I hear a groan coming from my couch.

“Mmm, something smells good. Wait… Where the fuck am I?”

I take his plate to him.

“Good morning to you.” I say with a small smile. He frowns.

“Do I know you?” He says then takes his first bite, enjoying it immensely.

“Nope, I helped you to my apartment because you were passed out beside my car. I couldn’t let anyone alone in that state in that part of town.”

“You shouldn’t do that, ya know. You could’ve picked a dangerous man or a rapist.” He says while you both polish your plates.

“My bedroom door locks and I have a gun and I’m not afraid to use it if necessary.”

He gulps. “Duly noted.”

“Relax, I won’t use it on you. You seem like a good guy.”

“Not anymore.” He says dejectedly.

“A good person down on his or her luck is still a good person, buddy.”

Tears fill his chocolate eyes. “I so want to believe that.”

“Hey, you’re gonna be okay, dude. I’ll help ya.” I say, patting his hand confortingly. He withdraws his hand lightning fast. A low growl emits from his throat.

“Don’t. Touch. Me…”

My hands are in the air in a pacifying manner.

“Oookay, I’m sorry, I figured you as a touchy-feely kind of person but obviously, I was wrong.”

“I’m not, not anymore.” His brown eyes are cold and guarded, but I can discern pain, fear and self-loathing in them.

“I will try my best not to touch you but I’m a touchy-feely person myself so try to not freak out too much if I slip, ok?”

“I’ll try but I make no promises. I… I already kind of trust you anyway.”

I can’t help the large smile on my face when he says that. I notice that he finished his plate so I take both plates and go wash them in the sink with a few other dishes from last night. While I busy myself washing the dishes, I hear a quiet sight and a heartfelt “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, dear.”

“I should probably go.”

“Do you have a home to go to?” I ask while I finish drying the last piece and go sit on my lazy-boy.

“Not really…” I hear the shame colouring his voice.

“Well, if you find my couch comfortable, you can crash here for now, I don’t mind.”

I see so many emotions at once flitting across his handsome features. Fear, pain, relief, hesitation, shame, gratefulness, regret and the tiniest spark of hope. My heart clenches at that.

“So, do you want to take a shower?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t.” I say with a reassuring smile. “I think I still have some Axe products around here somewhere, gimme a sec.”

I go in the bathroom and search the cabinets on top of the washing machine, take out an Axe Phoenix shampoo and bodywash.

“Haha, I knew I had one somewhere.”

I come back to the corridor to take a fluffy dark blue towel and put it on the closed toilet seat. I get out a brand new disposable razor and some generic shaving cream for sensitive skin and put them on the counter. I also get a brand new toothbrush out of its package. I go sit in my lazyboy.

“You can go now, everything’s ready for you.”

“Thank you for your generosity.” Unshed tears sparkle in his chocolate eyes.

“You’re welcome. Don’t cry, my dear, everything will be alright.” His eyes close as the tears go down his face. I push the table and kneel in front of him, not touching him.

“Hey.” I say to grab his attention, my arms wide open. “C’mere.”

His face crumples and I receive a raven-haired missile in my ample chest. My arms close around him as his sobs shake his thin body, trying to hold him without being restrictive or making him feel trapped. I whisper sweet nothings in his raven floof as I rock him gently. He finally starts to calm down a bit after a few minutes.

“Do you want to take about it?” I feel his shake no.

“You’ll have to wait for the backstory. I-I-I just can’t, not right now.” He starts shaking again.

“Hey, it’s ok. No pressure, you can talk about it when you’re ready, dude.”

“M-Mark, my name is Mark.”

“Nice to meet you, Mark. Mine’s Anna, Anna Sarah Elwyn.”

“That’s an unusual last name. Where is it from?”

“Ireland, seventh generation immigrant. Actually funny story, both of my parents are of Irish descent, with some French mixed in. My parents moved from the Québec province to Massachusetts, I was only 6 at the time. Oops, damn my tendency to ramble. I could talk your ear off if you let me.” I finish my sentence, blushing. He looks at me with amusement.

“It’s ok, I do the same.” I burst out laughing.

“Off to the shower with you, Mr. Mark.”

“I stink that bad?” He asks self-consciously.

“Not really stink but it’s really strong.” I say sheepishly.

“Sorry.”

“ Don’t apologize for something you couldn’t really control, Mark.”

“Ok.” He disentangles himself from me and goes to take his shower. I make myself comfortable on my couch, enjoying its unusual warmth while I power the TV on. Ooh, Family Guy! Giggity!


	3. Chapter 3

After a full episode, he comes out with a cloud of steam, wearing only the towel. Oh my! Still easy on the eyes, indeed! I avert my eyes, trying very hard not to blush so much.

“Um… I don’t have any clean clothers… Help!” That last word was an embarrassed squeak. I put a hand to cover my eyes from him, still blushing too damn hard. I go in my bedroom, rummaging in my drawers. Stupid, stupid, stupid, I should’ve thought about that part.

“Uh, what size are you?”

“I should be a 32, maybe 30.”

“Is it ok if I give you a belt? I have nothing below 38. Oh wait, maybe…”

I trail off as I go in my wardrobe. I pull out an old pair of jeans belonging to an ex-lover of many years ago.

“Ooh, I found you a pair of 34.”

“Goody goody gumdrops.” I hear from right behind me. I squeak out in surprise as I jump back from him my arms up in defense. I immediately feel very silly.

“I’m sorry, I’ve always been very jumpy. I have a love/hate relationship with everything horror, be it movies, games or books.

“I understand, I used to play scary games, before…” He trails off as I give him the pair of jeans, a belt and a random black t-shirt.

“Before you ran away?” I say as I face away from him to let him dress himself.

“How did you…?”

“I have a confession to make, Mark. I hope you will not think any less of me or that I will not lose any of the trust you have for me.”

“You’re scaring me, Anna.”

“I know who you are.” I whisper fearfully.

“WHAT?”

“Please hear me out before freaking out… I watched your videos when I was at my lowest point. I was bullied real bad in school, then my big brother committed suicide and I fell into depression, then drugs and alcohol. I was in rehab for the third time when I came across your reaction compilations. It was the first time I had genuinely laughed in years. I laughed until I cried. I had a breakthrough in my therapy in the next week and it almost only went up from there. You made me laugh every day. I eventually found a spirituality of sorts. I do volunteer work every week at the homeless shelter. I was very worried about you when you suddenly vanished. I watched all your friends becoming more withdrawn and more worried. Bob, Wade, Jack, Tom, the Grumps, Cyndago. All your fans have been going crazy. However, I have respected your freedom and your privacy. I didn’t message or call anyone with your location, it’s not my place to say. Besides, had our situation been reversed, I would’ve been pissed. That’s also why I told you about it now because I don’t like to lie, especially to the special persons in my life, especially to the one who saved me from so much pain and suffering.” I say, holding him out both of my wrists, my Markiplier tattoo and the white lines in plain view.

“Oh, God, not you too.” Hurt lances through my heart at his rejection.

His hand shoots out to take the belt and t-shirt from mine but I’m able to peek at a few scabs on his own wrists. Realisation and relief laced with empathy for his pain course through me.

“At least, you’re with someone who’s been through that and can help you.”

“What if I don’t want that kind of help?” His eyes take on a stubborn glint.

“Well, tough luck, because there are four rules in this apartment. No alcohol, no drugs, no cutting and clean up after yourself.”

“I will try to abide by your rules, Anna.”

“Thank you for understanding. To be completely honest, I half-expected you to already be out the door.”

“It was tempting to walk out but if I want to get out of this shit, I’m gonna need help. I can’t do this on my own.” His head hung in shame, a tear making its way down his cheek.

“Can I hug you, Mark?”

“Yes, please.” He whines as my head nestles just under his chin. I hold him as he shakes.

“Shhhh, you’re gonna be okay, dear. Everything’s alright now that you’re here. You’re finally safe.” I mumble into his broad chest. He chokes back a sob, I hear it resonate through his chest. I hug him a bit harder.

I let him go after a few minutes.  
“Enough crying for today, Markimoo. Do you want to watch a few episodes of Family Guy?”

He wipes his eyes then nods with a small smile. I lead the way to the living room, popping the DVD in my Xbox 360. I hand him the controller to let him set it up.

“Popcorn?”

“Fuck yeah! It’s been too long!” Came his enthusiastic answer. I put the bag in the microwave.

“Coke?”

“Yes, please.”

I fish out two cans from the fridge and set them on the table in front of the couch. The microwave dinged and you take the popcorn to put it in a big bowl.

“ I like to add salt, is is ok?”

“Yeah, so do I. Go ahead.”

I sprinkle a bit of salt over the popcorn and keep the shaker with me as I go to the living room. I sit comfortably on the couch beside him.

“Here you go, lotsa butter and lotsa salt.”

“Just the way I like it, thanks!” He says as he pops a handful in his mouth.


	4. Chapter 4

At the end of the DVD, we both had laughed our asses off and were much more relaxed. I look at the time. 5 PM. I get up from the couch and go look in the fridge. I have a few things but nothing definite for a good supper.

“I have to go get groceries. I don’t have enough food for both of us this week.”

“I’ll help you carry them. It’s the least I could do.”

“I appreciate it. Do you need a jacket?”

“Yeah, mine’s filthy as all hell.”

I go to my wardrobe and puck out a worn, black leather jacket that doesn’t fit me anymore. Luckily, it’s unisex and plain.

 

“Would that do?” He tries it on and it’s a bit ample on him.

“Perfect. Thanks!” I put on my own black leather jacket and take my car keys from the hook.

“Let us go. Do you have any likes/dislikes I should know about?”

“Well, I really like meat but that’s about it.”

The ride to the store was done in a comfortable silence.

“You can take whatever you want within reason, if you promise to eat everything you take before it spoils.”

“That’s reasonable and very generous on your part.”

“Can’t have you starve, can I? This store also has clothes. You have 125$ to spend for yourself. Thank you for the door.” I say as he opens the door for me. I hear his gasp as I go past him.

“You can’t. I don’t want to impose.”

“Nonsense, it’s my pleasure.” I take the money out of my wallet and hand it to him. He reluctantly takes it.

“I’ll repay you back some day.”

“If that makes you feel better, sure. Do you want me to wait for you somewhere or do I follow you around?”

“I’d prefer if you waited for me at the changing rooms.”

“Ok.”

I go sit on a bench in front of the rendez-vous point and fish out my cellphone from my pockets. I play a game of solitaire and have a bit of music in my ears as I wait for him. After a few minutes, I see him from the corner of my eye with 3 pairs of jeans (a black one, a medium blue one and a dark blue one), a pack of boxers, a pack of black socks and 6 t-shirts (2 black ones, a red one, a blue one, a white one and a forest green one) and a black leather belt his size. He goes to try on a pair of jeans and one of the t-shirt. They fit perfectly. I have a mental nosebleed as I see just how well they fit, especially from the rear.

“So, how do I look?” He says, with a knowing smirk.

“Huh?” I say as I shake my head, trying to jumpstart my brain.

“You’re drooling, Anna.” My hand flies to my mouth but there is nothing there. He bursts out laughing good-naturedly.

“I’m sorry, but you probably already know I love teasing people.”

“You’re lucky I lo-like you.” Oops, I hope he didn’t catch that slip of the tongue. I can’t even bring myself to look him in the eye. When I gather my courage and wit enough to look back up, he’s already back in the changing room. I can’t take advantage of him that way. Anyway, he can’t be interested in me. We just met, he doesn’t know me and I’m a fan. I’m too plain, too fat for him. No, I can’t put myself down either, I’m just aware of myself and my limitations, is all. My self-esteem is always a work in progress, even to this day. He comes out and take back the items he left behind as he was trying out his outfit. He puts his new clothes in my shopping cart and then we go to the food section.

“Ok, so what do you want for supper?” I ask.

“I don’t know. Maybe a stir-fry with beef or chicken and lots of vegetables and some kind of chinese noodles.”

“Hmmm, now that you mention that, it sounds really good. Ok, so what do you want for the rest of the week? We have to plan for 5 days as it’s Sunday today. I have what it takes to make a soup and pasta somewhere this week. So, we only need to plan for two other meals.”

“I miss sausages, especially the cheddar-bacon ones. We could do a batch of rice. Do you have a rice cooker?”

“Of course. How about frozen pizza with extra cheese for the last one?”

“Oh yeah, pizza! I missed that too.”

“Would you like fries with that? I have a small frier.”

“You’ll spoil me if you continue, m’lady.” He says as we make our way to the cashier.

“That’s kind of the idea, Markimoo. Whenever I feel down, there were two things to cheer me up, you and food.” I say as he helps me load the groceries in the car. “As you can tell, I tend to splurge a bit sometimes.” I say, pointing at my fat belly, a half-dejected, half-gluttonous look on my face.

“You’re still beautiful, you know?” He says, with twinkling brown eyes. I look away, embarrassed.

“Stop, you’re gonna make me blush.”

“Too late, beautiful.” Tears spring to my eyes.

“Stop teasing me, please, unless you truly mean it. I’ve been teased ruthlessly in the past on the same subject.” I say, facing away from him. I suddenly feel his arms encircle me, his chin resting on my right shoulder, placing his mouth really close to my ear.

“And what if I do mean it?” His gravelly voice right in my ear sends a tendril of heat in my core and my knees become jelly. After a few moments, I regain my voice enough to be able to answer him.

“Your voice should be illegal. It’s not fair to my ovaries.” He chuckles and it sends tingles along my arms and my back. I shiver and he feels it, as close to me as he is. 

“Maybe, but I really meant it, you’re a beautiful woman, inside out. If I was less messed up, I would already have made a move.”

“And if I were to make my own move, what would your answer be?” I feel his lips just shy of my earlobe and he says with that deep sensual voice of his: “Why don’t you try and find out?”  
I turn around in his arms and my lips connect with his gently, a chaste kiss, full of softness and tenderness and quite a bit of passion. His answer with equal tenderness, though a bit uncertain, as if a bit fearful. I end the kiss slowly.

“I easily could get addicted to this.” I whisper, short of breath. I’m close enough to see his dilated pupils, though not just in lust. I know this look, I’ve seen enough people having panic attacks back in rehab to know what to do.

“Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe with me, Mark!” I say, taking deep, calm breaths for him to take example on. “You’re fine, you’re safe, no one’s out to get you, breathe in, breathe out.”  
After a few minutes of this, he calms down enough to be able to function. “Do you need anything, sweetie?”  
“Just a few more minutes of calm, actually.”

After still a few more minutes of him breathing more calmly, he says. “You see what I meant now by messed up? I can’t even kiss someone I like without freaking out.”

“Heeeey, you’re not messed up, you’re just wounded. I mean , it must have been something pretty horrible that happened to you.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, not yet.”

“I respect that. I just want to tell you though that talking about whatever’s troubling you to someone you trust or a psychiatrist could help you heal from this. Trust me, I speak from experience.”

“I know, it’s just that I don’ t think I could possibly trust someone enough to tell them. Not even Bob or Wade.”

“Oh sweetie, I know, it’s ok. I won’t force you. Wanna go home?”

He nods with a pleading look on his face.

“Hop on, then.”


	5. Chapter 5

When we arrive at my apartment, he’s calmer. He helps me get the groceries inside. I quietly thank him as I start cooking the noodles, then chop the vegetables. I pour a bit of garlic-flavoured oil in my wok and chopped garlic. When it starts sizzling, I put in the meat and the chopped vegetables and soy sauce. I also put in a few spices and a little dash of true maple syrup (directly from my hometown). After a few minutes, everything’s cooked. I put the cooked noodles and mix everything together with a bit more soy sauce.

“I is done. Do you want a big or a small portion?”

“A medium one, please. I’ll come back if I need more.”

“No problem, here ya go!” I say, putting his plate on the table in front of the couch. I serve myself as well, noticing I have thankfully enough for seconds and a small lunch. Good.

“What do you want to drink?”

“Water, please.”

I serve him a glass of cold water and put down my plate beside his. I go take a can of coke from the fridge then sit myself on the plushy rug. I grab the remote control.

“What do you wanna watch?”

“D’you have something funny and light, please?”

“This calls for more Family Guy!”

“I have no problem with that.”

We eat my stir-fry with gusto. He looks up at me.

“There’s a little something sweet in it, I just can’t put my finger on it, it’s delicious!”

“Ah, my little secret ingredient.” I laugh. “Actually, it’s pure maple syrup, none of the bullcrap they’re trying to pass off as maple syrup here. I still have family in Quebec and once in a while, I go back to visit and come back with a few cans.”

“I’d like to try it some other time on pancakes.”

“With a bit of melted butter, it’s heavenly.” I do a surprisingly good impression of Homer Simpson drooling for donuts or bacon.

“Oh God, that was spot on.” He says, laughing. His smile warms my heart.

“There was a lot of true feeling behind it.” I say, chortling. We finish our plates and I get up to wash the dishes and he stops me, taking the dishes from my hands.

“My turn.” He says with a wink. “You cooked us a delicious meal so it’s the least I could do.”

“No problemo, Markimoo.” I answer his wink with a smile.

I continue watching a Family Guy episode, you know, the one where Peter gets abused by a mating bull. At the crucial moment, a plate shattering startles me. I pause the episode.

“Are you ok?” I ask worriedly. My only answer is a terrified whimper. I get up from the couch, making my way to the kitchen. What I see there breaks my heart.

He’s rolled up in a small ball in a corner, shaking like a leaf. A few drops of blood stand in sharp contrast with the white linoleum. He probably cut himself and some blood fell off when he was scurrying away to his corner.

“Markimoo?” He whines and tries to make himself even smaller. Tears flow from my eyes. I take a deep breath to steel myself. I grab a broom and sweep away the pieces of the plate and clean up the few drops of blood first. Then I take a small blanket from the couch and gently put it on him. I then crouch a bit farther away to give him space and comfort him at the same time. One of his chocolate eyes is peeking at me, wide in terror. I begin to sing a lullaby my mother used to sing to me when I was little, my voice breaking at a few places. I see a partial calm slowly coming back in those brown orbs. I finish my song, my eyes never leaving his.

“Mark? Are you back with me?” He slowly nods, his eyes filling with tears. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

He nods again. I barely hear his voice whisper “Sing again, anything.”

“Shorts steps. Deep breaths. Everything is alright…” His eyes close as more tears go down his face. I finish the song after a few minutes.

“Markimoo?” This time, I have no answer. He fell asleep. Slowly and gently, just as I would with a child, I take him into my arms to my bed. He whines but still sleeps. My fingers card through his silky, raven locks. His head moves towards my hand, almost like a cat asking to be petted. I sit on my bed, beside him, continuing to caress his hair. After a few minutes, my hand freezes as a startling realization strikes my mind like lightning. He reacted to Peter getting… raped.

Oh. My. God. No! Anything but that! Not him! It all makes sense now, his reaction to getting touched without his permission, his reaction to intimacy. That’s why he drank himself into oblivion. That’s why he ran away, that’s why he felt he couldn’t confide in anybody. He’s probably ashamed of himself, for not being strong enough to stop it. He moves in his sleep and one of his hands gets out from the blanket, a dark red line in stark contrast to the golden skin. The cut has stopped bleeding. Good.

I get out from my bedroom, still shaken. Those are the occasions I wish I wasn’t sober, because God, I’d kill for a drink right about now. I turn off my Xbox and take out the DVD. I see my reflection as I look at the tears silently gliding down my face. I put down the DVD in its case. I go back to the kitchen to finish washing the dishes, leaving them to dry afterwards. I put the rest of the stir-fry in a small lunch container, then inside the fridge.

As I close the fridge door. I let my forehead rest tiredly on the cool metal surface, softly sobbing, trying not to make any sounds. I take my cellphone from my pockets, wiping my face of tears. I go close my bedroom door and go in my computer room, closing the door behind me. I know from experience that the two doors act as a good anti-sound barrier. I still have the emergency phone number of my therapist, Dr Martha Reid. I call her.

“Dr Reid speaking.”

“Martha?” My voice cracks a bit on the last syllable.

“Anna? What’s wrong?” Her concerned voice is like a balm to my frayed nerves.

“Me, personally, I’m ok. It’s one of my friends. He’s been drinking and he ran away from his life. I have reason to believe he’s been raped or at least sexually abused. I don’t know by whom yet. He’s just had a full-blown panic attack. You should have seen him, he looked like a cornered animal. So far, I’ve been able to calm him, but what if he has one while I’m at work? What if he harms himself again? I just… I don’t know how to help him. This is beyond my capabilities. And…”

She interrupts me. “Anna, breathe, dear, you’re hyperventilating…” I realize that she’s right. I take a few deep, calming breaths.

“Sorry about that, it’s someone who means a lot to me. I don’t know if you remember my breakthrough, back in my last rehab?”

“How could I forget?”

“He was the cause, he’s that guy I used to watch. He’s helped me so much and now it’s my turn to help him.”

“Do you still have the same email? I’ll send you a few pointers and websites, maybe a hotline number, just in case.”

“Thank you, Martha, you’re a lifesaver.”

“No problem, Anna, you know I’m always there for you, right?”

“I know, thank you.”

“If there’s anything else, call me.”

“I will, thank you again.”

“Anytime, dear.”

I hang up and boot up my computer. As I wait for it to be ready, I try to meditate a bit to calm down a bit more. I have to be strong for him in these difficult times. I open my email box and browse the numerous websites she sent me.

I sigh as I close my computer. Ok, so far so good. I just have to be calm, reassuring and respectful of his privacy. Oh and no intimacy without his express permission. I have to let him take control in our relationship, if I have ever have one with him. And above all, I must be patient and understanding. I close my eyes and tiredly rub them. I get up and go check on Mark. He’s still sleeping peacefully. I silently go into my wardrobe to pick up my Tiny Box Tim plushie. I put it about six inches form his face so it’ll be the first thing he sees when he wakes up. I notice he still has his glasses on. I take them off very slowly, I don’t want to wake him up. I put his glasses on my bedside table.

My eyes stray to his peaceful face again. I can’t believe someone could hurt such a gentle soul, such a good man. Hadn’t he had enough crap in his life? How could someone do this? I get out of my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I slide down the door, my forehead touching my knees, silent tears wetting my jeans.


	6. Chapter 6

The day after, I wake up, wincing as my sore muscles protest my night sprawled on the ground. I can’t believe I fell asleep here. My attention is immediately claimed by the whines coming from behind me. Oh God, he’s having a nightmare! I swiftly get up and open the door. He’s twisting and whining, tear tracks down his face.

“Mark, wake up, it’s only a nightmare!” I say, shaking him a bit, then backing off to give him space.

He wakes up, sitting in a blind panic.

“Hey Mark, you’re back with me, you’re safe!” His wild chocolate eyes focus on my and they fill with relief and tears.

“Here.” I say as I take the Tiny Box Tim plushie and give it to him. He squeezes the stuffing out of it.

“Would you like a hug, dear?” I whisper, opening my arms but not making any sudden movement towards him.

He hesitates for a few seconds and then he slowly crawls on the bed towards me, his distrust very blatant.

“I won’t do anything without your express permission, I promise.” Once he’s on my lap, my arms slowly and carefully move to hug him, keeping my hands on safe areas, like the small of his back and in his hair. I card my fingers gently through his silky raven locks.

“I know, it’s ok, it’s gonna be alright, I promise, you’ll get better.” I whisper sweet nothings in his soft hair as he calms down from his nightmare.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I… I was trapped… there were hands everywhere… Her hands…” My eyes close as I hear the raw terror in his deep voice.

“They grabbed me… I couldn’t move… I can’t move… I can’t move…” As those last words come out of his mouth, I open my arms completely, afraid he felt trapped.

“No, stay, please stay, don’t leave me.” I place my arms back in place.

“I won’t, I’m here, I won’t abandon you.” I whisper reassuringly.

After a few minutes, he’s calmed down. I wince when I move one of my arms the wrong way. I’m still incredibly sore from my night on the floor.

“Are you ok, Anna?” I thank the Gods as that’s the most normal voice I’ve heard from him in hours.

“Yeah, just a bit sore, I kinda slept on the floor.”

“On the floor, why?”

“What do you remember from yesterday?”

“Um…” He hesitates. “The last thing I remember is getting up to do the dishes, then blank, then you’re singing and you look so sad and scared… Why?” He looked so confused.

“You had a severe panic attack, probably caused by something you heard. I sang you a few songs to calm you down and you fell asleep. I carried you here and left you to sleep. You looked like you needed it.”

“You should’ve left me on the couch, now I feel guilty.”

“Nonsense.” I sigh and take a deep breath. “I … have another confession to make…”

“What is it, this time?” He says with dread.

“I think I kinda guessed what happened to you. I think… you’ve been… raped.”

The defeated shame in his eyes, Gods.

“You guessed right. Am I that transparent?”

“No, I’m just really intuitive and I’ve watched you for years. I have an unfair advantage on you.”

“I hate being a weakling.” I gently life his chin so I can look him in the eye.

“You. Are. Not. Weak. Never say that again.”

“Then why couldn’t I stop her? I couldn’t even lift a single finger.”

“Were you drugged?”

“Felt like it. I was at a club. I’m pretty sure I never left my glass alone. I may be a doof but I’m not that careless.”

“Maybe she had an inside with the bartender. Did she know you?”

“Yeah, she did. God, my skin still crawls when I think about what she said.” He shivers in disgust. “She truly was a stalker. She knew all sorts of things I didn’t publish online ever.”

“You remember everything?”

“Sadly yes. Maybe I’d be less prone to panic attacks if I didn’t remember every single detail.”

“Did you file a complaint?”

“No, I tried acting as if nothing happened but I couldn’t do it. I was too ashamed of myself for not being strong enough. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell anyone. They must be so worried.”

“Yes, they are.”

“Do you mind if I…”

“Contacted them? No problem, dear. Let me boot up my Skype for you.” I say, letting him go then getting up to boot my computer.

“Thank you.” His chocolate eyes are twinkling with unshed tears, relief and guilt.

“You’re welcome.”

When my computer is ready, I give him my chair.

“Did you want to talk to them alone?”

“Well, I’d prefer it if you were here but silent, please?”

“Okidoki.”

He enters in his Skype account. His inbox is swamped with offline messages. He solemnly reads each and every one of them. Suddenly, his brother Tom comes online. It takes about five seconds and he’s already calling. Mark is shaking in my chair, eyes fixed on Tom’s name. I take his left hand and then his eyes are on me.

“You can do it. I trust you.”

He slowly nods as his eyes take on a determined glint. He clicks on the answer button. Tom’s face appears on the screen, dishevelled and with dark bags under his eyes, hope lighting them up.

“Mark, is that really you?” Tom’s raspy voice whispers from my speakers.

“Yes, Tom, it is.” Mark is trying really hard not to cry, his head hung in shame.

“Thank God, you’re alive! We’ve all been so worried, what the hell happened to you? Why did you just disappear?”

“Tom, please, this is hard for me. Can you promise me not to interrupt me while I talk? I might not be able to continue if you do.”

“Ok Mark, you’re scaring me.”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet. First off, I’m so sorry for worrying you, Tom. I should’ve toughed it out, I should’ve stayed, I should’ve trusted all of you. I’ve…” He takes a deep, calming breath. “I’ve been raped, Tom.” Tom sucks in a breath, tears in his almond eyes, a hand covering his mouth. “I ran away because I couldn’t face what happened, I felt… ashamed, afraid, confused. I felt I couldn’t talk about it, to anyone. I just couldn’t. Please don’t blame me, please don’t hate me, I couldn’t take it if I lost my brother on top of everything else.” He’s sobbing so hard he can’t continue.

“Oh Mark, of course I still love you, you doofus. I don’t blame you for anything, I’m just glad you’re alright, I thought you were dead, in a ditch somewhere. Bob and Wade too actually. The only ones who still had hope are Mom and Dee. They’ll be so happy to know you’re alive. I love you, so much, lil bro.”

“Thank you Tom. I love you, big bro.”

Mark turns towards me, motioning for me to come in the camera’s view.

“There is someone I want you to meet, she’s helped me so much in the past day. She’s one of my heroes, literally. Tom, meet Anna. Anna, meet Tom.”

“Hi Tom, huge fan of your webcomic.” I say, embarrassed.

“Hey Anna, so you’re the one I have to thank for this miracle?”

“I guess, I mean, I couldn’t let anyone out in the streets like that, especially in that state.”

“In what state?” Tom asks.

“Tom, I was passed out drunk. I wanted to forget everything.”

“I understand. Thank you so much, Anna, for everything.”


	7. Chapter 7

After a few minutes of dialogue between the three of us, the door behind him opens and a cute little face asks: “Daddy?”

“Oops, gotta go, I have to make breakfast for them. I’ll see you around, lil bro.”

“No problemo, Tom. Could you… um… could you tell everyone I’m ok but without any details? I… I want to be the one to tell them.”

“Okay, I respect that, just don’t ever disappear on me again. I don’t know if my heart could take it.”

“I won’t run anymore, I promise.”

“Good, love you, lil bro.”

“Love you too, big bro, bye.”

They both wave at the screen and Tom logs off. Mark lets out a sigh.

“Are you OK?”

“Surprisingly yes, I don’t know why I thought he would reject me. We’ve always been so close.”

“It’s a pretty standard reaction. Your trust has been betrayed, you’re ashamed. It’s basic human nature to flee. I ran away from my problems too a few times, never again. Because no matter how far you run, your problems are inside you, they follow you everywhere.”

“Yeah, gotta face them head on, huh?”

“Yep and there’s no shame in admitting you need help against your demons.”

“I’m starting to realize that. Thank you. For everything you’ve done for me. I’d still be out there drowning my sorrows in alcohol if it weren’t for you.”

“You’re welcome, Markimoo.”

My eyes stray to the time on my computer. It’s 7AM.

“I have to get ready, I work at 8. You can use whatever you want, there is a spare key on the hooks by the door. It’s the keyring with a Tweety Bird.”

He chuckles. “I thaw I thaw a putty tat.”

“I did, I did thee a putty tat. I liked Tweety so much when I was younger, my main address has his name in it. I still use it even to this day (true story). They’re my favourite childhood show, the Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show. It’s the first one I ever watched in English, that and some Garfield Thanksgiving special (other true story).

“Oh yeah, I remember that one, was it the one with the biker grandma who fixes everything up perfectly?”

“Yep.”

I get up from my chair beside him and go take a few clean clothes to change and take a quick shower. I dry myself and dress up. I apply the usual makeup, put in my black rose nose stud and my eyebrow silver ring. I wring my wet hair and put it up in a bun to prevent it dripping everywhere down my back. I put on a dark purple tank top and a black vest with metal Ds along the shoulders. I go out the bathroom. I check the time. 7h25 AM. Fuck, I don’t have time for breakfast. Bah, I’ll take an apple, an orange juice can and a Cheestring. I pack those in a small lunch bag along with the leftover of the stir-fry and a can of Coke. I feel a pair of arms encircling me from behind in a warm hug and soft lips press themselves against my right temple, sending tingles along my scalp.

“When do you finish at work?” His warm breath in my right ear robs me of my words for a few seconds.

“Uh… at 5 PM…” I finally stutter, a blush on my cheeks. He put a few butterfly kisses on the nape of my neck and I melt into his arms.

“Have a good day at work, Anna. “ He says as he lets me go. Fuck, it’s been all too long since I’ve been this worked up. It’s a good thing I have good control.

“You too, dear.” I say as I take my jacket, flustered and blushing as all hell. Phew!

***

Today was a slow day, so I had time to think about my unexpected roommate. Is he okay? Will he stay? Will he start making videos again? What will he do? Will he consult a therapist? My female colleagues teased me, asking me if I was thinking about a man, after all these years. I blushed as I denied it but they knew me too well. I described him a bit and they were like ‘Dayum, girl!’, ‘Jackpot!’ and ‘About time!’. Yes, they are a bit rambunctious about it but they were happy for me. After my shift, I went back home. As I go up the stairs, a delicious smell of cooking sausages makes my stomach grumble. I open my apartment door only to realize the tantalizing smell is coming from there. Oh my, he cooked for me! I’m so absurdly touched. I walk up to my kitchen, enjoying the sight of him at ease in my kitchen.

“Oh hi Mark!”

“Welcome home, Anna. How was your day?”

“It was a slow day, compared to normally.”

“Where do you work again?”

“I’m an operator in a taxi company call center.”

“Ooh, customer service, joy.” He says, grimacing.

“Yeah, and a bit of technical support for the drivers when their systems fail.”

“Goody goody gumdrops, two call center pleasures all rolled into one job.”

“Meh, it pays the bills. And it’s the best I could do with the shitty education and criminal records I have. I consider myself lucky actually. It could’ve been much worse.”

“Did you have any dream, prior to that?”

“The standard dreams of any child: vet, doctor, nurse, fireman. I was a very troubled teen, I was too preoccupied with depression to have dreams of a job in particular. It’s an accomplishment for me to be here, sober, clean, somewhat healthy and semi-sane. I don’t really know what I want to do with my life, I just never really thought about it seriously, y’know?”

“Promise me you’ll start thinking about it, please? I’m sure you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.”

“Oki, Markimoo.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of polyamory in this chapter, very mild, no smut. Also, if a few characters seem a bit OOC, I apologize, I don't know them that well yet, I've just started watching them.

I sit at the living room table in front of him. We talk about our days for a few minutes and then we finish our meals.

“Is there anything you want to do tonight?” I say as I take the plates to go wash them.

“Could we… could we watch a few Game Grumps episodes?”

“Of course, Markimoo.”

I select the last one. Arin and Danny talk but lack their usual humour. One of them mentions Mark in an off comment and then there is only silence. We can hear their choppy, uneven breaths as if they were trying very hard not to cry. The episode ends suddenly without even a ‘Next time on Game Grumps’.

I look at Mark and sadness and guilt were etched onto his face.

“I… I think I should let them know. Do you think I could abuse your kindness some more?”

“Of course, how can I help?”

“Could you drive me there? We’re about 20 minutes from their recording space.”

“I understand. Let’s go.”

He grabs his jacket and we go to my car. I follow his instructions and about 25 minutes later, we pull into a nondescript parking lot in a commercial sector. He steels himself and we go in as he still has the keys. He takes my hand in his and leads me to his own recording room. He puts his other hand on the door handle, takes a few deep, calming breaths and opens it. We go in to find three persons entwined together on a couch, asleep. As we silently get closer, I’m finally able to discern Arin, Suzy and Dan. I also notice that they have puffy red eyes and dried tear tracks on their cheeks.

“Oh God, I’ve hurt them, I’ve hurt some of my best friends. That’s not what I wanted, at all. I thought only of myself when I ran away. I didn’t stop to think about those that cared about me.” He whispers brokenly. “I feel so fucking selfish.”

Suzy’s eyes slowly open and focus on Mark. They widen then fill up with tears. She detangles herself from the two guys’ embrace, then gets up. She stops just in front of him.

“Are you really there or are you just another one of my dreams?” She whispers almost fearfully. He gently takes her into his arms and comforts her.

“It’s really me this time, I’m so sorry I disappeared. I’m sorry I made you all worry.” She doesn’t answer and just cries in his arms. Her sobs echo a bit and the other two finally wake up, then realize who’s there, and the disbelief in their faces is almost as bad as Suzy’s was.

They both get up and also stop just behind Suzy and encircle the both of them in a teary group hug.

“We were so worried, we thought you were dead. I’m so glad you’re ok, I’m so glad you’re alive.” Arin said, tears falling from his closed eyes. They all sob together, Mark reiterating every so often that he’s sorry. After a few moments, their tears cease but they still huddle together. Dan spoke up, his raspy voice echoing in the silence.

“Can… can we know why, please?” Mark flinches as if struck, then visibly steels himself.

“I guess I owe it to you guys, huh?” He says with unease. “I ran away because I was ashamed.”

“Ashamed of what, Markimoo?” Suzy asks, a bit afraid of the answer.

“I… I’ve… b-been raped. She… drugged me…” He tries to calm himself, before he hyperventilates, with some success.

Suzy’s hands fly to her mouth, horrified. Arin looks worriedly between Dan and Mark. Dan looks badly shaken.

“A rabid fangirl, I’d guess?” Dan says shakily. Mark nods, tears going down his cheeks.

“Oh God, that sucks so much. We’re here for you, man.” Arin says, the two other nodding frantically.

Mark looks up to them, tears filling up his eyes again.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve trusted you guys. I felt as if I couldn’t trust anybody anymore.”

“It’s ok, Mark. I understand, more than you know.” Dan says, with pain-filled eyes. “I’m mostly healed now, it’s been a few years since then. I’ve been able to count on Arin the whole time, then Suzy. They’ve helped me so much, with everything.” He says with a small smooch on her forehead and he takes Arin’s hand.

“You’re… all together?” Mark asks, confused but not judgemental, at all.

“Yup, we’re polyamory together.” Arin says, kissing Dan’s hand.

“As long as you’re happy, all three of you, I’ve got nothing to say, except grats!”

All three let out an audible sigh of relief at that.

“Will you come back to recording videos?” Suzy asks, hesitantly.

“Maybe not right away, but I’ll tweet a message of apology to let them know I’m safe at least.”

“Yeah and call off the search for you.” Dan says embarrassedly.

“Yeah.” Mark says, uncomfortable.

“Actually… you know what, I’ll record a short vlog. I have to face my fears head on.” He says while plunging his eyes into mine, furious determination burning in them. He’s never been more beautiful in my eyes than at that exact moment. Oh crap, I’m falling in love with him! I nod decidedly to silently encourage him. He sits on his chair, boots up his computer and sets up the camera and microphone. He looks half-anxious, half-excited. He starts the recording, looking straight at his camera for the first time in months. The three Grumps stand directly behind him for support.

“Hey guys, I’m recording this video to let you know that I’m alive and that I’m sorry for having disappeared. I won’t come back fully just yet though, I’m taking two more weeks for myself. I won’t tell you why I disappeared because it’s too personal and it’s too soon. Let me just tell you that it’s a serious personal matter otherwise, I wouldn’t have run away. I’m so sorry to have worried you all, thank you for being awesome. And I’ll definitely see you in the next video! Buh-bye!

He waves at the camera, an earnest expression on his face. He stops the recording and plays it again to verify that everything’s ok then uploads it on youtube. The response is immediate. “Where have you been?” and “Omg, you’re ok! Thank God!” and “We’re not worthy!” There’s a mix of two expressions warring across his face: a goofy smile and a touched expression.

“Wow, I guess they haven’t forgotten me.”

“Of course not, Mark. You’ve touched a lot of people along the way. More than you’d think.”

“I know that I mattered to people, but not that much.” He says, with tears in his chocolate eyes, incredibly touched by his fans. I slowly put my hand on his shoulder, squeezing it a bit for support. His warm hand covers mine, making me blush. All three of our companions look at me with surprise and a warning in their eyes. They accept me just as long as I don’t hurt him. “Don’t fuck up or else.” That’s what their eyes say. I nod sternly, indicating I understood their meaning. After that, their eyes soften a bit as Mark recounts how much I’ve helped him get back on track in the past few days. I’m glad he has such good friends surrounding him with their love. Now if only he tried accepting their support or learning to reach for their help, he would heal that much faster.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a short fluffy chapter but I promise, more is on the way. I have tons of things to write, including the second week of the Sunshine Project challenge on tumblr. I think I have too much to write, lol! Stay awesome!

Anna’s POV

We spent a few hours chatting with Arin, Suzy and Danny, catching up with them and laughing with them. They seemed to like my caustic and dirty brand of humour, thank God. I tried to stay awake but somewhere between 9pm and 10pm, I fell asleep, lulled by his rumbling baritone.

Mark’s POV

We lost track of time. It’s only when I notice Anna sleeping that I look at the time. It’s already 10h30pm, oops, we should go back. Luckily, I know how to drive so I don’t have to wake her. I say my goodbyes to all three of them, then scoop her up in my arms. I seat her on the passenger side and buckle her up. I then lower the seat into a horizontal position. I go back to her apartment by hear, proud of my memory. I fish out her apartment key from my pocket, I lock her car then lift her up in my arms. 

I open her door with difficulty but manage. I go lay her on her bed. I pull off her boots and her glasses. In her sleep, her hand reaches out to take mine and keep me here when I try to go back to the living room. I feel my heart swell at the tender gesture. 

It starts beating a bit quicker as I consider the idea of actually sleeping in the same bed. I trust her but the irrational part of me is afraid. Afraid of being hurt, afraid of being abused in my sleep, afraid of my own growing feelings for the beautiful woman in front of me. I try to take a few deeper breaths to calm myself, recognizing the beginnings of a panic attack. I succeed after a few minutes. 

I kick off my own shoes, take off my glasses and set them beside hers. I set her alarm, just in case and lie down beside her. She immediately moves to cuddle me, her head laying itself on my right arm. It warms my heart like nothing else. I… I think I’m falling for her… And then I sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lemony fluff, just a bit though, I'm not at the full smut yet, not for a few chapters.

Anna’s POV

I wake up in my bed and I feel warm and comfortable. I feel as if I never want to get up, it’s too comfortable. As I slowly come to, I feel as if my warm pillow is moving a bit underneath me. I open my eyes and what I see warms my heart. He’s lying beside me minus his glasses, snoring softly, looking entirely too adorable. My hand goes up to tenderly caress his smooth cheekbone, gently waking him up.

“Good morning, Markimoo.” His chocolate brown eyes slowly open, instantly filling with warmth as they focus on me.

“Mornin’, beautiful.” He says with a deep sensual voice that goes straight to my core. He slowly reaches up to kiss my cheek. His lips are so soft against my skin, my eyes close of their own accord. I just want to lose myself in his softness, in his tenderness. I nuzzle his neck softly, with feather-light touches, barely there. I don’t want to spook him but the urge to touch him is overwhelming me. I revel in his heady scent. I barely reign in the urge to kiss or bite him, I know it’s too soon to do that. He takes me by surprise when his hips leave a trail of electricity down my neck.

“F-fuck!” I softly gasp, my hands clenching the fabric of his t-shirt to try not to do anything to spook him away. It takes all of my will and my self-control to do so. He gently bites at the junction of my neck and my shoulders and I moan heatedly, my hands slipping underneath his t-shirt, caressing the hard planes of his chest, enjoying the shudders coursing through his muscles.

Just to be sure he’s ok, though, I raise my head to look at his face. As if sensing my gaze on him, he opens his chocolate eyes. There are a few feelings warring within them: lust, fear, apprehension, affection and quite a bit of wary trust. My hand goes to cup his cheek once more and his head turns into my hand, his eyes fluttering closed.

“Look at me, Mark.” He opens them, looking into mine again.

“I want to kiss you, is that ok?” He nods after a few heartbeats. I lean in slowly, giving him the leeway to stop me at any time. He meets me halfway. Our lips brush against each other, a slow gentle dance. He then surprises me by running his tongue on my lower lip, asking for entrance. I open my lips but do not use my tongue yet, letting him set the pace he wishes for. He bites on my lower lip, making me moan. His tongue gently searches for mine, plundering my mouth while I feel as if I’m floating on a soft cloud. I kiss him fully now, trying to inject every bit of passion, love and tenderness I feel for him in it. I break off after a few minutes, panting a bit, my forehead on his, my eyes closed. I feel his warm hand cupping my cheek and I open my eyes just a fraction and meet his warm brown eyes.

“I… don’t really know how much of a relationship I can offer you. I have feelings for you, feelings that could very well become… love. I’d like it if you would become my girlfriend, as long as you promise me to be very patient with me, to stop when I tell you to, to not take it personally if I panic and most of all, to love me for me, not Markiplier.” His eyes express how much that admission cost him and how he almost steels himself for rejection.

“To me, you’ve always been Mark, a beloved friend that shares with me his laughs, his tears, his scares and best of all, himself. You are a wonderful person and I’m honoured to get to know you better. I promise not to push you if you tell me to stop, I’m very patient with those I love and I definitely do love you, Mark Edward Fischbach, scars, flaws and all. I accept.”

“Thank you, you do not know how much this means to me.” He whispers, tears in his brown eyes as he engulfs me in his arms.

“You’re welcome. I love you Honey.” I feel a radiant smile etching itself upon my face.

“Love you too babe.” He says, kissing my forehead.


	11. Chapter 11

My alarm goes off. I need to get up to go to work. Crap.

“I wish I could stay here in your arms, sweetie.”

“Me too, love.” I slowly detangle our limbs so I can get up. He stops me halfway through by kissing me in the neck again. He lets me go with a mischievous smile. He’s enjoying being a tease entirely too much.

“You sir are such a tease.”

“Me? Nah!” He denies it innocently. If we were in a cartoon, I’d see a halo appear on his smooth raven locks. I don’t even dignify that with an answer. I go in the kitchen to pour myself a bowl of cereals. I cut half a banana and then eat my breakfast with gusto. He’s brewing a pot of coffee while I eat. He puts a mug in front of my just as I finish my bowl of cereal. I take a little sip with a contented sigh.

“Thanks for that cup of perfection!”

“Oh goodie, I’m in love with another caffeine addict!”

“You’re one too?” He nods.

“Especially on a long Let’s Play, when I do one in one day.”

“Yeah, it helps me when I stay late to read.” I take the mug with me to my bedroom. I close the door behind me and start undressing of yesterday’s clothes. I put on a fresh set of clothes. I take a long sip of my coffee then go to the bathroom. I comb my hair then tie in a long ponytail. I forego the usual dark red lipstick for a bit of transparent gloss. I don’t feel like putting make-up today. I feel beautiful as is, which is a first for me. I get out from the bathroom, put on my glasses and then I go back to the kitchen. He’s eating peanut butter toasts and the other half of my banana. I take another long sip of coffee, finishing my mug then I engulf him in a hug from behind.

“I love you, have a nice day, honey.” I whisper softly in his ear, feeling him shiver a bit against me. The soft smile on his face reassures me that it’s a good shiver. He turns his head to plant a soft kiss on my lips, sending tingles skittering along my skin.

“I love you too, Anna. Have a good day at work, love.” He whispers against my lips. I just can’t help myself, I catch his bottom lip between my teeth and nip gently. His groan lights my insides on fire. I smile coyly and let go of his lip. I kiss a spot just below his ear and smile at his sharp inhale. I whisper in his ear.

“Two can play the teasing game, honey.” I get up and go put on my jacket. Just as I close the door of the closet, and turn back to go out my apartment, my back is pushed to the door. His lips are crushing mine and his body is pressed against mine, his desire evident against my belly. An answering desire echoes in my core, making me moan heatedly. It’s been entirely too long since the last time. We’re still fervently kissing, our teeth sometimes clashing in our desperation to get closer to each other, our hands clenching the fabric of the other’s clothes. He lets go of my swollen lips briefly to ask. “Bed?”

“Are you sure about this?” I ask, concerned. He nods frantically, his eyes burning with earnest fervour.

“Just tell me to stop if there’s anything wrong.”

“I will.” He just picks me up, bridal style, from the floor and brings me back to my bed. A good thing too, because my knees feel weak. He lays me down on the bed.

“Um… do you wanna try something that would afford you almost complete control over me? I’m totally willing, you would not be forcing me.”

“You want me to tie you? Nuh-uh. Just the idea makes my skin crawl. Maybe someday, I’ll be able to, but not today.”

“Ok, didn’t want to make you uncomfortable sorry.” I say, with my eyes downwards. He cups my cheek with a tender hand, tilting my head up to plunge his chocolate gaze in my eyes.

“It’s ok, I know that you only thought of me and my issues when you said that. You are so selfless, I know that now.” He says as he caresses my cheek with the pad of his thumb. He bends down to press his lips against mine. He uses a free hand to play with my breast through my t-shirt, sending a jolt of pure arousal racing through me. He breaks off and presses his forehead into mine.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” I say, a bit breathless. “If you want me touch you, take my hands and put them where you want them, k? That way, you have complete control without actually restraining me.”

“That is… actually a really good idea.” He says, while pondering the idea. “This could work.” He says, a large smile appearing on his face.


	12. Chapter 12

He grabs my hands and put them on his behind and I immediately grab it, earning myself a gasp. He grinds himself against my clothed core, sending embers of desire everywhere. With my hands keeping him balanced, he gets his shirt off. One of my hands almost goes to touch his chest but I stop before. His hand catches mine and puts it on his chest himself, caressing my hand with his much larger one.

“Um… you can touch me, Anna. Anywhere but there, k?” I am moved to tears over the trust shown to me. His hand comes up to my cheek, wiping a tear.

“Don’t cry, love, please.”

“I’m not sad, I promise. I’m just… blown away by your trust in me and I hope to show myself worthy of that.” He presses a kiss to my forehead.

“I know you will, babe. I love you.” He gets off of me, to help me get my jacket and my shirt off. I blush a bit under his intense scrutiny.

“You’re… breathtaking.” He gets back on top of me. One of his thighs is between my legs, offering a delicious friction that sends my pulse racing.

His hand cups one of my breasts and his mouth goes to tease the other one, his tongue flicking my nipple through my lacy black bra. I gasp at the jolt of pleasure going through my core, my back arching a bit. I drag my blunt nails gently down his back, eliciting a pleased hiss from him. He reaches behind my back to unlatch my bra and I arch my back to afford him a bit more space to work with. He gets it off of me and tosses it on the floor. He returns his attentions to my breasts, nipping gently at my nipple with his teeth. I try to stifle my moans but I can’t, it feels too god.

“Don’t hold back, please. I want to hear you, beautiful. I want to hear the effect I have on you.” A powerful wave of heat echoes through me, originating from my core. A broken moan escapes my lips.

“Yeah, just like that.” He smirks, proud of his effect on me. He unbuttons my black jeans and helps get them off of me. I try not to feel too self-conscious or shy but it’s been too damn long and I do. He helps me not to overthink it by grinding the heel of his hand against my core through my panties. Another moan tumbles from my lips as my eyes flutter closed. I feel him getting up and my eyes open just a bit to watch his glorious body slowly come into view as he sheds his clothes, one by one. He’s even sexier than I thought possible. The anticipation is killing me. I feel as if there’s a fire just beneath my skin, just begging to be fed, begging to be touched. A ravenous beast with a devouring hunger. I… I can’t take it anymore!

“Please!” A quiet keen spills from my lips, surprising us both with the raw intensity injected in the desperate plea. He freezes for a few seconds and then divests himself of his clothes, panting a bit, an answering hunger burning in his beautiful chocolate eyes.

“You can touch me anywhere, love. You have my permission.” He says while bringing my hand to his length. My hand moves of its own accords, while I watch him throw his head back at the pleasure.

“You’re so sexy, Mark. Oh God, I can’t wait to feel you throbbing inside me. Please!”

“Do you have any condoms somewhere?” His question brings back a bit of clarity through me.

“Uh… there is a box in the bedside table and I’m not sure about the expiration date but I have birth control. If you’re clean, I am willing to do without.” His eyes widen.

“I… I don’t know… she… I don’t remember if she…” He gulps, breathing with difficulty.

“If she used a condom on me when…” He’s on the verge of freaking out. Oh God, Mark, no!

“Breathe, Mark. Stay with me, love. She’s not here, I am.” He plunges his wild brown eyes in mine and the terror in them is warring with sadness and anger. After a few panic-filled minutes on both our parts, he succeeds in calming down.

I slowly engulf him in my arms and he breaks down in tears. I whisper sweet nothings in floofy hair, peppered with ‘I love you’s and ‘it’s ok’s.

“Are… are y-you mad… at me?” He asks, still trembling and hiccupping a bit.

“Never, I’d never be mad at you for that, love, I promise. I love you.”

A new tear makes its way down his handsome face and I wipe it tenderly with my finger.

“Can I kiss you, honey?” He nods and I cup his cheek tenderly. I smile as he leans into my touch. I slowly start kissing him, gently coaxing his tongue with mine. He lets out a little groan. I break off and ask him: “Do you want to start over now or wait later? Either is fine, love.”

He gulps. “I kinda want to try to muscle through but I’m not sure.”

“As I said, either way’s fine, love, I promise.” He ponders it for a while.

“Can we try again?” He says pleadingly.

“Of course, we can.” I let go of him and open the drawer to my bedside table. I fish out the box of condoms and check out the expiration dates. Hm, about six months from now. I take one wrapper out of the box and a bottle of lube. It’s been a while so better safe than sorry. He helps me take off my panties and puts his thigh back between mine. He leans to kiss me softly, rubbing against my core with his thigh. I moan in his mouth. My hand reaches out to his chest and slowly trails down, stopping just below his navel. I stop the kiss and plunge my eyes into his, silently asking for permission to go on. He nods, gratitude, love and lust etched into his face.

My hand reaches his semi-erect cock, toying with the head. I take the bottle of lube and put a dollop in my hand. I start slicking him up and his eyes flutter closed, a nice moan spilling from his soft lips.

“Aah… hhh… that feels… ngh… so good.” He manages to say between pants. His hands skim down my stomach to reach my core. He circles my clit with one delicate finger, setting my nerves on fire.

“I need you, love, please.” I say, arching my hips towards him. He nods and takes the condom wrapper. He puts it on himself, lubes himself some more and then… utter bliss. We both moean as he slides all the way in with a slow stroke.

“You feel… so good…” He says, panting.

“So do you, love… ngh… you feel glorious.” After a few seconds, he starts to move slowly inside of me, igniting sparks of pleasure everywhere in my body. He goes quicker and quicker until our skins slap together and I can’t tell up from down anymore. Everything becomes pleasure and I go over the edge. He’s not too far behind, his beautiful voice cracking as he pulses inside of me.

“I love you, Mark.” I manage to say between pants.

“I love you too, Anna. Thank you… thank you so much for your understanding and your love and your patience.” He says solemnly.

“Any time, love. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m yours.”

“Mine. I like the sound of that.” He whispers, testing the word, a smile slowly crossing his face.


End file.
